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Legal consultation

Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations, write.

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Career and work

The diagnosis: the careerist

Cases from a life

In the life (and them was much) I recollect all chiefs if not with shudder, without special delight. Each of them was in own way talented and possessed some abilities. But, if to take as a whole, advantages did not outweigh female weaknesses.

The first, with which I worked at socialism, was called Валерией Яковлевной. In a solid museum it supervised over the big department. When I have come to get a job, she has not failed to inform me, that in the days off was on a summer residence, burnt down candles at night and read the Bible. It was the tremendous woman, big общественница - sponsored children's home and helped veterans. To work with it it was absolutely impossible because of its unpredictability: that it suited a rating gave gifts.

The second, already under capitalism, supervised over the big publishing house. Generally it took for work as the responsible secretary, but it has proved the indispensability. First, sat up late; secondly, at meetings always sharply criticised any projects and consequently had a reputation for the intellectual; thirdly, it is accurate (on Carnegie) carried out all precepts of the young careerist: remembered names-patronymics of higher heads, their birthdays and a name-day of their relatives.

Then for short time I became the chief. It was time of my divorce. On the one hand, money that has induced were necessary to me to hold a supervising post, and with another - hard work helped to distract. I was the awful chief. As I now understand, the irritation addressed to the former husband, I involuntarily projected on any man getting under a hand. Sometimes I so on them shouted, that today most it is a shame to me.

Among my girlfriends of much absolutely brilliant careerists. I admire with them. They are a little similar to the heroine of a film "the Office novel": watch itself, go to a sports hall and beauty salons, drive the car, earn much. They do not tell about the problems - they for this purpose have a personal psychologist.

About that these problems are, it is possible to guess to indirect signs: for example, when on a banquet on the occasion of an anniversary of firm the lady-chief "pushes" the husband in the most distant corner, and itself shines in the forefront. Thus it can hotly prove, that the prejudice - to demand from the husband of high earnings, that on its salary it is possible to support two families. But, I think, not very much to it it is cosy near to such husband. It is a little all the same комплексует. Though he very economic - borsches prepares and with children on a skating rink goes.

To me told a ridiculous case: young, extremely arrogant young lady, having married, in tenderness inflow named the husband "my favourite manager" from what it lost in the beginning speech gift, and then terribly was angry.

Familiar psychologists tell also sad cases: сорокадвухлетняя the woman dies of a cancer. Two children, the infantile husband from the rich Soviet family which have become impoverished after reorganisation times. But the woman, very independent, self-made from a province so it was important to show to associates, that she's fine - and the house the full bowl, both children are charming, and a family amicable. It on all closed eyes. What forces it costed to it, nobody knew. It was its personal, deeply hidden. There was a big insult: well why all I, all on me?! Talk to oncologists: to them the offended people get just such, forces-is not present-more-suffer.

That at the supervising lady the husband relaxes sooner or later and loses any hunting to earn, I observed not once. I do not wish to tell, that it is typical, but also an exception to the rules such situation will not name.

One more acquaintance on a character warehouse - a jet rocket, with powerful will to live, years in thirty "has meaningly stopped". Before изможденно worked on three works, dragged the husband-scientist. And then has suddenly realised as a problem the sex, has left from all works, has given birth to the child. "At me, - she has told, - in a family three generations of women, since the great-grandmother, the decision made, were the main things in families. I worked, because it is the parental scenario. And on the business it is necessary to behave in compliance with a floor. To badly you - relax, descend on massage, instead of search for new work as I did earlier". They during any moment have not left the husband-scientist nearly - it after all too had to rethink the sexual role. But anything, now it almost the millionaire, and in National library goes on Sundays, itself awards …

And still I think: what for it is all it is necessary? To whom the women working for fourteen hours, standard answers knowing on all questions, бульдожьей a grasp keeping for the начальственные armchairs are necessary? Least it is necessary to women.

Minuses (opinion of the psychologist)

The good chief is a person passionless, clever, cool. All these fine qualities a little the general have with pure феминным behaviour: emotional, spontaneous, unpredictable. When the woman strong-willed effort brings up in itself the ideal manager, it smothers the female beginnings. But usually process jams halfway, and the semichief-semiwoman turns out.

Ladies-rukovoditelnitsy, as a rule, are emotional, even if try to hide it. In it specificity of female style. From the chief of a male it is practically impossible to hear a phrase: "We will arrive how I am prompted by intuition". The woman always is considered with the feelings. And, that surprisingly, quite often makes excellent decisions.

Ladies are guided by criteria "it is pleasant-not it is pleasant" is more often, instead of is "lezno-is insalubrious". In the collectives headed by women, always there are more than favourites, нелюбимчиков, gossips, подсиживаний, unmotivated increases and dismissals. Work of the employees of the woman too estimate not on volume of a gain or a rating of business activity and as will prompt temperament and heart.

At last, women have a propensity to concern subordinates, as to children. One my client - the succeeding lady, the proprietress of the big language school. She was engaged in business including because it had very difficult relations with a daughter-teenager. Eventually, she has earned so much money that has sent away the daughter to study to America, thereby actually having undersigned in the parental inconsistency.

To me it has come here with what problem: approximately each two years it had a conflict to employees, yes such strong, that left all. She could not understand, in what business - was baked about subordinates, as mother. Marked birthdays, took out collective abroad in the summer. Sometimes strictly punished, sometimes praised over a measure. But after all people to it came not behind parent feelings, and behind earnings. And position of their honours pupils-dvoechnikov did not arrange. And to communicate with colleagues on equal as with partners, she was not able.

And here there is a natural question: what for the woman aspires to be main?

Reason and feelings

The purpose of each of us - to get rid of the problems (so psychologists consider). If the woman spends the life most part at office and business trips (and the high post assumes absolute employment), means, it has weighty bases on that. Quite often she simply doubts the female solvency.

Ugly, thick or thin, freckled, лопоухая, diffident the parents, painfully touched with the first school love or first marriage - whether yes it is not enough to doubt at the normal woman of the reasons the charms and charm?! Here she also aspires in chiefs. In industrial sphere some things to solve much easier. Subordinated - not the husband and not the child, will not argue, any requests will execute implicitly.

If such woman already has a family, the husband and children it with ease shifts the parent functions on private schools, tutors, tutors and other "substitute" mothers, being justified by the big employment and the high salary. Good money, except sure gains, grants the right of nothing to do on the house and to keep a tight rein on the husband if he, God forbid, earns less. The decision of personal problems through office career - is convenient, but has an underside. The more successfully бизнесвумен, the more furiously it defends the social positions. For it the post is a question of a life and death, a way of existence. She considers the decisions conclusive, and democratic fermentations in collective severely suppresses, seeing in them attempt at hardly reached psychological well-being.

For the woman the management for the sake of a management comes to an end is pitiable enough. The greatest value - warm human relations - in such a way is not reached. After all native appear are separated from it by money, and subordinated - the status.

Other plane (opinion of the psychologist)

This problem is connected with concrete female subjectivity. Simply there are problem women. Careerists they or not - it is unimportant. Make such the housewife is there will be a misfortune for relatives, first of all, for children. And, on the contrary, the women, capable to use all the nature the given advantages (flexibility, intuition), is more thin and нюансировано perceiving other people, moreover at corresponding intellectual possibilities, will really overtake any man. So the essence lays in other plane: if is certain поврежденность in the female beginning, it in any case will have an effect - though on manufacture, though on private life.

Concentrate on career can to force not only a deep psychological problem. Sometimes happens in another way. There is some demand, coincidence of circumstances, the free time which has been not occupied with juvenile children and tiresome requirements of the husband. Why not to prove in career? The person, basically, should show itself in something.

Ability to accept people such with what they are, - characteristic female line. And inability to accept, children, the spouse, subordinates; uneasiness, aggression, desire all to alter testify to internal trouble.

But it is peculiar also to men too. The similar female behaviour is perceived more painfully because contradicts социокультурным to expectations.

From the point of view of the woman-chief

Neurosises meet both at men, and at women. Napoleon, Lenin, Hitler or Stalin's how much strongly career were замешены on neurosises even to explain it is not necessary, so it is obvious.

Why such steadfast attention to women-careerists? Because ladies-heads on a kind, it is not enough of them, they are more appreciable. Certainly, they can have problems, but can such problems and not to be. A percentage parity of personal ustroennosti-disorder, I think, it is identical and at the simple women who are not sufficing stars from the sky, and at the uncommon.

Our society fluctuated last twenty years here and there. In the beginning there was an opinion, that the woman should work necessarily, then - that should bring up children, sit at home. Actually nobody knows, that it is necessary for each concrete person. It should define it, and it should have a choice possibility. Now such choice at women is.

In what a film essence "the Office novel"? The shitty lady - the good head. As soon as she marries, on the organisation to it to spit. A strange situation. Grotesque. When me ask, that for me it is more important - work or the house, I answer: both that and another.

I am absolutely assured: to make the present career at the expense of indemnification of any complexes it is impossible. Separate, even very high launches can be, but stable successful career - destiny of natures creative and harmonious. The woman can have such power, such talents, abilities to a management and a mental potential, that it will curtail mountains.