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Career and work

6 typical female errors on a way to success

The first steps in the career beginning often happen difficult, we study on the errors, we receive experience. Gradually we become professionals. Unfortunately, professionalism not always is the precondition of career growth. On the foreground here there is an ability of to position, i.e. what see us the employer and colleagues. The reasons of female failures in this field originate in the culture of education. Since the childhood to girls impart certain models of behaviour which they transfer to an adult life. Not all from these models are effective and help to achieve success in professional work. Let's consider typical errors which force us to mark time.

 

Error the first:

Desire to keep with all good relations.

From the childhood of girls learn to care of others, to be lovely and appeasable. Only the such can be the present woman. If you help another it is necessarily remunerated - parents speak to us. What to like, ourselves often offer the help, and then we reproach ourselves with kindness. But already late.

How it is possible to give up to the nice colleague if he asks you to be late and help to make to it presentation? How it is possible to give up to the colleague at whom the child was ill? Unfortunately, on work such behaviour leads to sad results. Women often waste time on a trifle, and as a result draw on itself routine work which distracts from more appreciable and successful actions.

We make the most strict demands to ourselves, even when work is not pleasant. But why we concern with understanding laziness and irresponsibility of others? We often grumble, but thus, we do not put forward what concrete requirements.

The nice colleague with success will hold presentation, having taken advantage of your competent councils. And here that you will receive? Disappointment from thought what have once again taken advantage of you, have not estimated? Perhaps, for March, eighth he will present to you a mug with your name. This that that you wanted? Popularity is won not by ingratiation and victims, and mutual respect, correct behaviour and a reasonable distance.

 

Tatyana and Irina work as bookkeepers in one company. Duties at them absolutely identical. Tatyana respect, with its opinion are considered, employees treat Irina kindly, yes here only all unpleasant and boring tasks all appear at it, it constantly carries out someone's "urgent commissions". Why so occurs, takes offence Ира - Таня does nothing, it about what to ask it is impossible - to whom does not help, and I all for people so round it all jump, as if it the princess, and about me recollect, only when wish to ask something? "

 

Вывод:. Be capable to reject those requirements which seem excessive and poison a life. Then you "yes" will have much bigger value. Speaking "is not present", we protect the borders. Otherwise, we cause a damage to ourselves. Refusal should be clear, accurate, and fast. It is necessary to tell firmly, confidently: "I Regret, but I am not able to do it". Probably, you should give reason for the refusal. Release to yourself time for tasks where you can show the talents and show to a management that is capable on большее.

 

Error the second:

Undertake all tasks which offer you, only so you will show the diligence.

In the beginning of career we often think what enough to be, competent and diligent in the work, benevolent and not to enter conflicts. We wish to show, that we can perform any work which even has been not qualified. Thereby we show the loyalty and diligence. Unfortunately, the unique award for such behaviour - a label of the person, which can incur not qualified work instead of undertaking only those cases which can confirm our competence and abilities. Agree what to make 200 copies to meeting, the whole hour having staid at the copier, it is unessential to finish university and to have an operational experience the chief of department of marketing. For this purpose quite enough secretarial courses. Many women are convinced, that all heavy, demanding it is a lot of forces and time of business they are obliged to do. To ask assistant, secretary to make manual labour for them it hard, they believe, that it is operation. As it is not strange, the majority of men consider itself too formed for such work.

Right after institute Lena was arranged with the secretary in one western company. In two years it has received a post of the representative of the general director in Moscow. How it was possible to it? The secret is simple. She did not begin to wait, when it will notice and will estimate, and behaved as the assistant, instead of as the secretary. Penetrated into all affairs, showed the initiative not in trifles - like <it is not necessary to you still кофейку?>, namely that it interested - business. It on it had enough energy, abilities, and the desire main thing. Therefore it also perceived from the very beginning not as the good appeasable girl, the fine executor and the trouble-free worker - and as equivalent business partner.

Conclusion: Speak about the achievements. Undertake work which will help to show abilities. Show the competence. Place emphasis on the main thing, do not stick in trifles. On the present assiduity and sense of duty, and the new ideas, the thought over innovations and offers is remunerated not.

 

Error the third:

The power conducts to loneliness, at me to deteriorate character and anybody will not grow fond of me. I will become mannish.

The fear to become less desired, having received the power, sits in consciousness very deeply. Since the childhood us learnt what to impose the opinion not well, that the problem of the woman to do a life of associates as it is possible more pleasantly. It seems to us, that men do not love strong women, because they not womanly, that true feminity defenceless and fragile. Whether so it actually?

On work such traditionally female virtues as softness, passivity, defencelessness are always perceived negatively. Such people are easy for manipulating, nobody perceives them as serious partners which can be trusted.

Earlier really such behaviour has been proved. The woman completely depended on the man. Now the society structure has exchanged - women began to work, to conduct an active public life. The myth about courage of the business woman goes from uncertainty of women for the first time received the power more likely. Uncertainty forces us to copy man's behaviour. And any copying is always comical. In the aspiration to look as the head we lose any signs of womanly softness. Aggressive to be simple.

Marina dreamt of increase. At last it have appointed the head of group. Soon it has entered the conflict to all employees of department. Why it has occurred? Marina so actively aspired to correspond to a new role that has started to distribute commissions to the right and on the left: bring that, submit it if someone objected it, it started to break at once on shout, and took offence. She behaved as if all should it. It is necessary to notice, that it was unique display of its power. Marina by the nature the person uncertain, very much was afraid to make an error. Even in a new role it continued to go to the head of department what to receive acknowledgement of correctness of the decisions. Thus, it has shown the full incompetence and absence of flexibility.

Conclusion: For this purpose, that you would perceive seriously, not so necessarily to look грымзой. And womanly the self-assured woman can be truly desired only. Ability in time to show the power (to delegate powers) the important administrative skill testifying to a self-trust. If you while uncertainly feel in a new role, pass special training on development of corresponding skills.

 

Error the fourth:

Wrong signals.

Eugene worked as the assistant in the advertising company. Has come on this post in hope that will be good to work and it will make the manager. Time went, and varied nothing. It had corresponding formation, a recognition of colleagues and trust of the chief. She was late late, it praised, but: occurred nothing. Then Eugene began to search for other work. Without results. That offered all to it, was limited to duties of the secretary and office of the manager. News that on vacancy of the manager of which dreamt Eugene, took the girl without an operational experience was last blow. Why it has occurred?

Very often ourselves do not understand, what signals we send to other people. We think, about sense of said words, and at all we do not pay attention to other language - a sign language. Nonverbal signals speak about us much more than our words. We study professional terms, we receive diplomas, but signals which we send to people, speak about our weakness and indecision. Pay attention to how women talk to men chiefs. As often they look down, is guilty or playfully smile, out of place giggle, or hesitate with the answer. They drawl words, sometimes their voice shivers from importance of the moment. As it is frequent their shoulders are lowered, and the head is inclined. Unfortunately, more often the most widespread signals it is confusion, позирование, sexuality, defencelessness, passivity. We send what signals, such answers and we receive. On sexuality and позирование - flirtation or aggression, on defencelessness and passivity - mistrust, at the best guardianship. Unless so concern the person to whom are ready to entrust the important and serious business? Such person it can be a pity, it can involve, like, but any serious affairs with it to have it is impossible - stronger and strong people are for this purpose necessary.

 

Very often uncertainty and passivity is given out by a speech manner. As often we begin with trifles instead of at once passing to the purpose. We so are afraid to miss something, that, eventually, we stick in trifles and we forget about the main thing. Probably, such approach is good at a meeting with the girl-friend, but not in business conversation.

Pay attention, how it is frequent in the words we use so-called cautious phrases: excuse, forgive, as it is a pity, as though, maybe, I will try to make, it seems to me; we offer too many variants of the answer to a question (naturally, the opponent chooses what is favourable to it). As such request lovely sounds: <you to me could not bring documents?> the answer arises by itself: <No, could not>. And here it is even better: <I as though the chief of department>. And who then the present chief? <I try to work over the project>. You try? And who over it really works? Women constantly apologise - thereby they wish to show the politeness. And it is real - feebleness and uncertainty in the competence.

Conclusion: Speak on points, short and clearly, explain a question essence, and then acquaint with the made conclusions. If to be necessary it is more than information, you about it will ask.

Your behaviour should be конгруэнтным, i.e. a harmonious combination of that you speak, as you speak and as you thus look. If you say, that is ready to incur a new site of work, it is not necessary is thus guilty to smile and look down. On the contrary, keep directly. Use confident expressions and gestures. It is the open pose, an open sight, unequivocal statements. Instead of "I have not understood the task", it is better to tell - "I need to specify some moments". It is not necessary to discredit itself. From such "trifles" your professional image is created.

 

Error the fifth:

Indecision and passivity.

Natasha was bothered for a long time already with work on its post. In department vacancy for which it could apply since possessed necessary skills has opened. But it sat and was silent, believing, that would offer for a long time it this place if it on it approached. But time went, and nobody offered places. A result: took the person from the party, and Natasha has beared malice and insult both against the chief and on the new employee whom as it seemed to it, took незаслуженно. And what prevented to approach simply to it and directly to declare to the chief the desire? So, at least, in default she would learn about that what skills to it it is necessary to develop, and another time the head would mean its claims. Actually, its chief believed, that the place suits Natasha.

Indecision, waiting and manoeuvring almost inevitably conduct to crash.

Women often adhere to the set game rules. We seldom ask again the task and blindly we follow the established system. We do how it is accepted. However, that who depends on rules does not see further the nose, it cannot move forward. And only the one who follows the rules, is capable to define the way and to do opening.

The same concerns expressions of the discontent. Us learnt, that the opinion needs to be held at itself, it is necessary to be tactful that nobody to offend. But it not diplomacy. Good negotiations should bring results which are useful to all participants. More often if we are dissatisfied, we hold back it, we believe, that all should guess. We do not object, and we become isolated. And if we dare to object, constantly we search for acknowledgement of the correctness. It is brought up in women since the childhood - be the obedient girl, do not contradict seniors, wait, when you will call, do not climb forward, at first think, and then speak, be silent, when adults talk. So the sense of duty and diligence is brought up. Employees who perform the work reliably, accurately and punctually, give out expected result, are necessary for quiet work in any firm. They have every chance not to waste a workplace long time. However career is done by those who uses knowledge to develop the skill, to show special abilities.

Conclusion: As a rule, everything, that we receive in a life, it about what we have asked. Requirements should be accurately and are clearly defined. It is necessary to speak about the desires and about you are ready to put what efforts for their realisation. The success comes to those people who clearly and clearly state the ideas, express desires and put requirements. Thereby they show, that difficult and unusual tasks wish to carry out

Error the sixth:

Emotionality

Даша simply idolised the chief. Also was for what: after all it released its two once a year on session at institute. Always so politely talked. Always thanks, please, how are you doing. The truth the salary was small - Дашины girl-friends from institute earned much more. But they did not have such fine chief. They are compelled to prepare for session on a workplace, and words kind from the chief will not hear. Даша considered, that by much it is obliged to it - well where still will so treat kindly!

Many women who have every chance for office growth feel so strongly adhered and obliged to the firm or the chief that do not venture any changes. They are grateful that with them well address. Emotional attachment is convenient soil for manipulations. Our opponent can force to concentrate us on emotionally strong, but not to the most essential party of a question. The emotionality and ability to logic thinking are not mutually exclusive qualities. But when we see the uneasy person, we do at once a conclusion, that he not in a condition to argue logically. Appreciate feelings, but not always show them.

As often we take to heart absolutely usual things. We incorrectly interpret acts and words, we finish thinking for the interlocutor much, instead of that is direct it about it to ask. It does us very vulnerable on a way to success. The chief has dropped a casual phrase, and already we discuss events for a year forward, we do hasty conclusions, we wind themselves.

Alla worked in man's collective. Every week she had to participate in meetings on summarising. The chief assorted work of everyone, and sometimes at Alla hands for fear that will discuss it shivered. And the boss quite often did not hesitate in expressions, and each such meeting was for Alla a strong emotional shock. Upon termination of such actions she sobbed and was afraid, that it will soon dismiss. It is no wonder, that when vacancy of the project head has opened, Alla have recollected only casually. The resume of the chief was short: <the person strong is necessary to me, capable to me to object, only so I will understand, that it can defend interests of the company and is independent understand a difficult situation>.

Conclusions: Absence of emotional predilections will help you easy and coolly to estimate conditions and it is better to perform the work. Try to reduce to a minimum conversations on personal themes in the presence of colleagues and a management. Understand, that attacks and criticism need to be perceived not always as the personal insult. Learn to react structurally to criticism, and to use it as a stage for the further growth. Eventually, if to you have not specified in your error, as though you could correct it? <it is good, that you have paid to this attention, I will necessarily correct this point in the report>. - React to the facts, instead of an emotional cover of criticism.